It's funny I still call England home. My home is clearly in France. We've lived here for over 9 years!
Given, 80% of my clients are expats, I know this 'where is home' uncertainty feeling is very common and this can be very unsettling ...
With the privilege of easy travel, international agreements to facilitate work overseas (ahem - Brexit aside, let's leave that for another day!), education etc etc we are travelling and working overseas more than ever. We are often following our desires, or what seems like amazing opportunities to experience life in another way.
And it's an amazing opportunity to grow. To expand. To experience new ways of doing things.
These women live all over the world, in amazing locations, living by many measures a fabulous lifestyle. They are however, away from their place of origin.
I've noticed a few patterns over the years.
Many of these women, instead of truly feeling able to immerse themselves in these fabulous lives, their concern for the future or where they belong can take over. Eckart Tolle (author of The Power of Now) would have much to say about this. They're essentially living in the past and the future which is not a great place to be, because the NOW is all we have and can truly experience.
Now I can totally understand their anxiety. There was a time when I similarly felt rather stressed about this uncertainty. It felt like whilst I LOVE France and our pretty awesome lifestyle, I would never feel French. The culture, the language, the lack of family within an easy car ride.
It's also about familiarity and belonging I'm sure.
The minute my feet touch down in England it feels so familiar. I'll have a chat with the lady at WH Smiths and she won't have that curious 'where are you from with your funny accent?' look in her eye.
Another thing is that we are 'designed' as beings to live in communities. To seek wisdom from their elders. Those that have seen us grow.
So, where does it feel is home for you?
It's actually alot to do with our Chakras and reptile brain that we first and foremost need to feel safe and secure.
How do we balance amazing opportunities to grow, expand and live overseas, against our need to feel safe and secure?
Based on many many clients who've had this exact same challenge here's my top 3 tips.
1. Be present NOW, it really is all we have.
Easily said right? A daily mindfulness / meditation practice will help you to develop this ability to live in the now.
2. Recognise the difference between fear (needing to feel secure / safe) and desire.
Your true desires will help decipher if it's the time to travel / spend some time overseas or go back to a 'home' land.
3. Write in a journal.
Just 5 minutes most mornings before the days' thoughts, happenings and judgements have had time to get going. Journalling is a great way of getting in touch with your subconscious thoughts, so if you're feeling 'stuck' on a challenge such as this simply ask "Where is home for me?" and see what stumbles out. Also do ask "Where do I desire to be NOW?
Here's to you being extraordinary, everyday, where ever you call home.